![]() ![]() Partners may feel like they let their partner down by not helping enough or stopping their pain. They sometimes feel that, somehow, their body let them down, or they let their baby down by not having a straightforward birth. Many parents struggle with feelings of failure after a difficult birth. Recognising your feelings for what they are will help you move on. If you are feeling low or distressed, do not suffer in silence or ignore how you feel. However, the reality of becoming new parents is often much more complicated. Many parents feel that they have to ‘put on a happy face’ after having a baby because it’s such a significant life event. Whatever you do, it’s important not to suppress your feelings. Here are some suggestions of things you can try to help you move forward in a positive way. How can I recover from a traumatic birth? It is important to find the best way to address these feelings and get support if you need it. ![]() You may recognise some of these feelings or you may think yours are not as intense or severe as this. avoiding places, people or other things that remind you of the traumatic event.trying to feel nothing at all (emotional numbing) and trying to distract yourself to avoid thinking about what happened.constant negative thoughts about the experience.physical sensations such as pain, sweating, feeling sick (nausea) or trembling.repetitive and distressing images or sensations.The Birth Trauma Association (BTA) defines birth trauma as a shorthand term for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Some new parents have told us that they had issues such as: The effects of a difficult birth vary from parent to parent. What are the effects of a difficult birth? The first few weeks after having a baby are mostly about muddling through. The early weeks with a baby can be full of emotions. This can include the baby blues, a lack of sleep, difficulties breastfeeding and the physical recovery from birth. Unfortunately, there are some aspects of life with a newborn that may make your recovery difficult. I didn’t feel that would offer a resolution nor would it change what had happened at the birth, and at the time would likely have caused more stress.”Īideen Other factors that can impact your emotional health They are so grateful to bring their baby home. My health visitor asked if I would like them to raise a complaint on my behalf. This may be especially true for people who have had previous miscarriages or stillbirth. Personally, I felt that as long as the baby and myself are ok now, that this was the main thing. Your healthcare professionals will be able to support you. There are many other parents who feel the same way. If you are having negative thoughts about childbirth, for whatever reason, you are not alone. Whatever the reason, one or both parents may need some time or extra support to recover from the experience. This could be because they may have seen their partner in distress or pain, because they felt helpless, or even because they missed the birth or could not be in the room when their baby was born. Partners may be distressed after childbirth too. Following the birth, it took a long time to come to terms with how I felt.” I remember the consultant coming to see me and quite ‘matter-of-factly’ saying she was going to break my waters even though I wasn’t in labour. I felt as though I should feel happy to ‘go along with what the professionals were telling me to do,’ however it was a battle as I didn’t want the induction and felt pushed into a corner. Everyone has their own perspective on what happens in life. It’s also possible for any 2 people to have the same experience but have completely different feelings about it. Some people need time to mourn the birth experience they didn’t have. This may be because they feel they weren’t listened to, felt like they had no control over what was happening, or felt they weren’t treated with respect or dignity. Other people may have had an apparently normal birth but feel disappointed or distressed. Some people experience complications before or after the birth that most people would understand to be traumatic, such as an assisted birth, perineal tears or problems with pain management in labour. There are lots of reasons why people may feel their birth was a difficult or traumatic experience. We also have more specific information for people who have experienced a premature birth or baby loss. This information is for anyone who feels that they’ve had a difficult or traumatic experience giving birth. ![]()
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